My Weight Loss Journey

A few months ago, I decided it was time to start my weight loss journey again. I thought about starting a whole new blog for this but when you think about it, my sub-title for this blog is "A Blog About What Came Next"... and this falls into that definition.

This past week, I met my first major goal in my weight loss journey. But before I tell you about that, I thought I'd begin at the beginning.

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When I look back at photos of myself as a child, I can hardly believe it is really me. I was SKINNY. Toothpick-skinny. But I still often got called fat.

Expo '86 - age 10

I hit puberty at a young age and developed hips. I was no longer a toothpick but I was a far cry from fat. Yet, I still got called fat.

In Junior High School, I began to wear baggy clothes to hide my "fat".

Grade 9 graduation - 1991

But, you see, there was none. It was a delusion. You get told you're fat enough times, you begin to believe it.

Then, you become it.

High school graduation - 1994
(in the green dress)

After high school, I began to fill out those baggy clothes... and soon I outgrew them. In college, I put on the Freshman 15, and more. By this point, I didn't weigh myself anymore. I knew I was getting bigger but I tried to ignore it.

College - 1998

I moved in with my chip-addicted boyfriend (who later became my husband) and the pounds kept coming. I was a fat bride. Pregnancy and subsequent grief did nothing but pack on even more pounds.

On our wedding day 2003

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer and then was told he was cured, I told him it was time we got ourselves in shape. We were already eating healthier meals, but the weight was not coming off. I joined Curves. and within the first month, I saw the weight coming down. Obviously, exercise was the missing component.

Our baby's 2nd angel day & our 4th anniversary - 2007

However, just a couple of months later, we got another blow - his cancer came back. I began going to Curves less often -- between work, taking care of my husband, our dog, and the house, I just didn't have the time or the energy. I quit going altogether after he ended up in the hospital and when he died, I just could not care less about exercising or doing anything for myself. All of the weight I had begun to lose came back.

At the Walk to Remember - Oct. 2010

Well, now it's a couple years later, and I am still here. I came to the conclusion that if I must be alive, I want to feel good in my own skin. I am ready to be rid of this fat once and for all.

I will post updates occasionally, in hopes that by being public with my journey, it will inspire me to continue.