Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My Weight Loss Journey

A few months ago, I decided it was time to start my weight loss journey again. I thought about starting a whole new blog for this but when you think about it, my sub-title for this blog is "A Blog About What Came Next"... and this falls into that definition.

This past week, I met my first major goal in my weight loss journey. But before I tell you about that, I thought I'd begin at the beginning.


When I look back at photos of myself as a child, I can hardly believe it is really me. I was SKINNY. Toothpick-skinny. But I still often got called fat.

Expo '86 - age 10

I hit puberty at a young age and developed hips. I was no longer a toothpick but I was a far cry from fat. Yet, I still got called fat.

In Junior High School, I began to wear baggy clothes to hide my "fat".

Grade 9 graduation - 1991

But, you see, there was none. It was a delusion. You get told you're fat enough times, you begin to believe it.

Then, you become it.

High school graduation - 1994
(in the green dress)

After high school, I began to fill out those baggy clothes... and soon I outgrew them. In college, I put on the Freshman 15, and more. By this point, I didn't weigh myself anymore. I knew I was getting bigger but I tried to ignore it.

College - 1998

I moved in with my chip-addicted boyfriend (who later became my husband) and the pounds kept coming. I was a fat bride. Pregnancy and subsequent grief did nothing but pack on even more pounds.

On our wedding day 2003

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer and then was told he was cured, I told him it was time we got ourselves in shape. We were already eating healthier meals, but the weight was not coming off. I joined Curves. and within the first month, I saw the weight coming down. Obviously, exercise was the missing component.

Our baby's 2nd angel day & our 4th anniversary - 2007

However, just a couple of months later, we got another blow - his cancer came back. I began going to Curves less often -- between work, taking care of my husband, our dog, and the house, I just didn't have the time or the energy. I quit going altogether after he ended up in the hospital and when he died, I just could not care less about exercising or doing anything for myself. All of the weight I had begun to lose came back.

At the Walk to Remember - Oct. 2010

Well, now it's a couple years later, and I am still here. I came to the conclusion that if I must be alive, I want to feel good in my own skin. I am ready to be rid of this fat once and for all.

I will post updates occasionally, in hopes that by being public with my journey, it will inspire me to continue.


Joc(e) said...

Wow Ter. You were SO not fat in your younger years. I love that pic of you in college! I'm sorry that people made you think you were too heavy (whatever that means)...they did you no favors. I wish you the best of luck in your weight loss journey...you are already doing so well with your exercise and cutting out Coke! Keep up the GREAT work! (((MUCH LOVE)))

Loredana said...

Keep i mind that you have a fan club here rooting your every effort! My experience with weight loss is this: you have to first really decide that this is what you want and then you can't give up. Not even on thse days you'll cheat or you don't want to work out, cause that'll happen often. And MOSTLY know that weight loss takes time and we don't live in Hollywood where we have trainers and cooks and in 2 weeks we're back to our original sizes.

Good luck!

Lisa / Disappearing Me said...

I agree, you are not fat! I do wish you luck and can't wait to see your progress!

MemeGRL said...

Your story is mine...I was round as a child but not overweight...but if you hear it enough, you might as well be it. Good luck to you in your journey...I'm struggling with mine too right now but I know better days will come. Thank you for writing so eloquently about it!

Jenners said...

Oh it is horrible that you were made to feel fat when you clearly weren't. This kind of stuff is so f$#Ed up. It makes me mad. I too have steadily packed on the pounds over the years and it gets hard to fight back but it is so important. Good for you for taking the plunge and doing this. I realize how big that is for you and I wish you the best of luck with it.

Caitlin said...

Children are so cruel! It makes me sick to think of releasing my babies into the world some day. Yuck!

I admire your courage and good luck in your journey! We're here for you!